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the words 'i love you'
have always tasted like forbidden fruit
an apple offered by a helpful serpent-
sweet and fleeting but
the words 'i loved you'
just taste of
finality.

i always thought that leaving you would be like leaving gomorrah
that i couldn't help looking back
and when i did i'd feel an ocean dry itself beneath my skin
but this is so much quieter
and so much worse.

my knuckles taste of blood,
not salt.

there is no new testament here
just old testament fire
just lot's wife standing on a forgotten hill
rocksalt freezing her outstretched hands
watching her hometown burn below her.

there is no forgiveness here
just mutual loneliness
just a lost religion and a broken girl
far too tired to play pretend
watching you fall apart behind me.
when god destroyed sodom and gomorra, lot and his family were deemed the only ones worth saving. while they fled the city, lot's wife couldn't resist glancing back at her burning city, and god turned her into a pillar of salt for her weakness.
i've never been religious, but i've always sympathized with lot's wife, the unnamed woman who died with her hometown.
(i feel like i've been writing a lot of breakup poetry lately)
edit 19Feb:;;
holy shit a daily deviation for a poem i posted when i was new enough to not know what that meant<333
thank you so much and thank you for reading
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-19
love poem from a pillar of salt by TheAdequateGatsby has beautiful imagery and does a wonderful job of using Biblical destruction to embody a breakup. ( Suggested by snowysylva and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Edited Dec 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How genius these parallels--I'd never have thought of them! Also ... your username made me chuckle. ;)
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:iconevolallisyn:
Evolallisyn Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014   Writer
That's awesome, amazing
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
This has the makings of a spectacular poem in it. I wonder if you've ever thought to return to edit it, to sharpen its edges a bit? It could be truly extraordinary.

I loved all sorts of lines in this, especially how the speaker vacillated in and out of Biblical imagery. The end was excellently crisp as well. Thanks so much for sharing, and I love seeing a piece of this caliber featured as a DD!
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i honestly haven't even looked at this piece since i posted it. i think you're right that it needs a lot of editing. i never expected something like a DD for it. thank you so much!
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014
No problem. If you do edit this, let me know. I'd love to see your second take on it.
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Loved your allusions here - the last line was particularly good. A strong ending leaves a strong impression :)
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I love the idea of comparing love to faith and religion. It makes the feelings that much stronger, but also that much worse when you feel you've lost it. Beautifully written. :)
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconsweettinkerbear:
SweetTinkerBear Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

I .. identify with this in fact my preacher is aware of recent mistakes and refers to lots wife frequently and looks at me.. he isn't aware that I know he is aware but none the less it is blood chilling..

 

these words are lovely, heartbreaking.. but lovely

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:iconmarthaarmstron:
MarthaArmstron Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Wonderfully written 
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconart4life217:
art4life217 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student General Artist
This is absolutley beautiful! DD well deserved!
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconcat-inbetween:
Cat-Inbetween Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Really like the imagery!
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks!
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:icondanielleivanova:
DanielleIvanova Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree with orchidshadowfox about the rhythm, at places it feels like a loose brick, like there is one too many words or one too few, you could work on this in your future works. But apart from that this poem is amazing! The title is interesting, it got me curious because it alludes to a vivid imagery and I wasn't disappointed. It's hardly ever that someone impressed me with religiously tinted poetry, it's a tricky thing to do. In your case the way you use the imagery of the legend is awesome. I suppose it would bring pleasure even to people who are not familiar with the story, in a different way, maybe you should consider telling it in the description so your readers would be aware of the context.
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i agree that the rhythm is way off; i honestly haven't even looked at this poem since i posted it a month ago. thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icondanielleivanova:
DanielleIvanova Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
To avoid that I always read a poem to myself while writing it. But sometimes it comes out distorted if I listen to music while doing that xD So I'd definitely not recommend that during the creative process.
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:iconnet-spidy:
Net-Spidy Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student General Artist
religious person dated you...!!!???
how religious he was... XD
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
lol i'm not sure if that's a compliment or not?? but cool thanks for the comment
Reply
:iconnet-spidy:
Net-Spidy Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Student General Artist
 my level of sarcasm is to the point where i (and i think the victim as well ;> ) have no idea whether am i kidding or not... ;p
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! :love: by CookiemagiK
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:icongryffgirl:
Gryffgirl Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
Congratulations on your DD! :clap:
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconarasius:
ArAsius Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
it is a beautiful poem
i have enjoyed reading it
when i read it over and over again
i feel the strength of  the poem
very nice work
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconorchidshadowfox:
orchidshadowfox Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well done, but I have to admit I miss the allusion to 'gommorah'. You're a little bit lacking on rhythm here, but it works out with how the tone is here. Very nicely done.
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh, did i spell it wrong? i'm sorry, i've always been awful with spelling. I meant 'gomorrah'. whoops. but thank you
Reply
:iconorchidshadowfox:
orchidshadowfox Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's alright, spelling is probably one of the hardest things to learn (at least, I think it is, next to maths).
And you're most welcome!
Reply
:iconsootandcinders:
sootandcinders Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
powerful stuff here :heart:
Reply
:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :heart:
Reply
:icondenisecroy:
DeniseCroy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I usually am not one for break-up poetry but this one is an exception for its beauty and power. 

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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, that means a lot to me :heart:
Reply
:icondenisecroy:
DeniseCroy Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome ! 
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