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Submitted on
January 5
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the words 'i love you'
have always tasted like forbidden fruit
an apple offered by a helpful serpent-
sweet and fleeting but
the words 'i loved you'
just taste of
finality.

i always thought that leaving you would be like leaving gomorrah
that i couldn't help looking back
and when i did i'd feel an ocean dry itself beneath my skin
but this is so much quieter
and so much worse.

my knuckles taste of blood,
not salt.

there is no new testament here
just old testament fire
just lot's wife standing on a forgotten hill
rocksalt freezing her outstretched hands
watching her hometown burn below her.

there is no forgiveness here
just mutual loneliness
just a lost religion and a broken girl
far too tired to play pretend
watching you fall apart behind me.
when god destroyed sodom and gomorra, lot and his family were deemed the only ones worth saving. while they fled the city, lot's wife couldn't resist glancing back at her burning city, and god turned her into a pillar of salt for her weakness.
i've never been religious, but i've always sympathized with lot's wife, the unnamed woman who died with her hometown.
(i feel like i've been writing a lot of breakup poetry lately)
edit 19Feb:;;
holy shit a daily deviation for a poem i posted when i was new enough to not know what that meant<333
thank you so much and thank you for reading
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-19
love poem from a pillar of salt by TheAdequateGatsby has beautiful imagery and does a wonderful job of using Biblical destruction to embody a breakup. ( Suggested by snowysylva and Featured by GrimFace242 )
:iconevolallisyn:
Evolallisyn Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014   Writer
That's awesome, amazing
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014
This has the makings of a spectacular poem in it. I wonder if you've ever thought to return to edit it, to sharpen its edges a bit? It could be truly extraordinary.

I loved all sorts of lines in this, especially how the speaker vacillated in and out of Biblical imagery. The end was excellently crisp as well. Thanks so much for sharing, and I love seeing a piece of this caliber featured as a DD!
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i honestly haven't even looked at this piece since i posted it. i think you're right that it needs a lot of editing. i never expected something like a DD for it. thank you so much!
Reply
:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014
No problem. If you do edit this, let me know. I'd love to see your second take on it.
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Loved your allusions here - the last line was particularly good. A strong ending leaves a strong impression :)
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
I love the idea of comparing love to faith and religion. It makes the feelings that much stronger, but also that much worse when you feel you've lost it. Beautifully written. :)
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:icontheadequategatsby:
TheAdequateGatsby Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome!
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